Thursday, January 9, 2014

Idiotic Folgers Commercial

"I've been on a bender for nine and a half days
and all that prevents me from losing my office job
is ten cups of coffee in the morning,
it gets me out of my hovel
even after something happened at the bar
that I don't rightly recall,"

all this coffee
every day
is like running an oil change
through the engines of that body

"i'm sure that
when the time comes for a new liver
i can count on Foldgers
to be there in the hospital cafeteria
when I have to sign an organ contract."

its always on the shelf, you
so pick some up
when youre too hungover
to do laundry
or otherwise care
about the state of the world,
Folgers will remind you
how to lie to your world
about the amount of energy you have
and your inherent disposition

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