anarchy was never wrong, they cried Freedom, Rise Up For Me

i hated beating you at chess
it's an evil tired game
even among friends
where you capture movements and positions
like some sick teenage general
pretending that yer friends were opponents
with the symbol of a king from some 13th century fucked church
as the object of desire or whatever,
those coward white and black kings
making the crowd and the girls do all the work
but you know Hue
maybe it was symbolic
that when we played outside at night on those tables
with that stupid Mingus playing on yer cheap MP3
with that damn speaker i bought from the Target
after I hung some vain shirt up in the electronics department
and to tell you the truth
i was so insane thenu
that i thought my name was just Steven
and some kind of boyfriend to the inevitable
truth is i hate sex
it's a sickness of lust
i don't like touching anybody
or other people touching me
but sometimes i made exacting exceptions
and well, my heart still beats
i speak out of truth
yer alive i think
don't look in the mirror or at pictures
the reflective images of you are called desotas.

if you'd like
i'd call you Susan B Anthony
if you hate me for livin'
just know that not compromising my visions of beauty and peace
drove me insane at times
where i forgot my name and home
and how to speak
because of all the anger
of things like Death Houses that they would send slaves to in Sing Sing China.
i believe i will get on
but if yer not alive
then i'm beyond sick
but not in the sense of my soul burning out.

you called me in the death camp
when i was sick and bleeding
so thank you there
and you invited me into yer home
i think what happened then
was that Romance was a bit vain
during times of War.

if yer there
theres phones here
maybe we can sort out the past
don't turn to too many books
lots of em are just fucking lies
for some dope con
or for the hiding of demonic secrets
that i had no part of.

i haven't been hiding
everything i say is the truth or truths
if i ever lied
i figured i would be smokeing something lethal one day
because i would be lying to myself about reality
which is lethal.

to tell you the truth
i'm kind of psychic
and it isn't really a tool
for black magic
or bad news
or plotting soldier positions
unless i'm about to be ambushed
by some electronic banking scam
or a herd of lawyers that are turning themselves into beasts
over misinterpretation of symbolic currency
that is supposed to help people with kindness
instead of being the instruments of greed.

sometimes i wonder what happened
before seeing people fucked up alive drove me insane
what my name was
but well
it's Brody, i'm a girl
yer a fella.

they say this is the city of angels
all i see is dead wings.

ya know, some of these things i find out
and throw up
there's a black moon tonight shining down on the western neon light
and some of those Astronomy books
were just drug analogies
like
do you get the sick comparison
of speed balls
paired with the planets being gigantic balls too?
well they aint.

listen to me if you want
you might have my respect in the future
so you know
maybe these days aren't time for love or sickness
but the future may bring something clean and bright called the Sun's warmth
and I hope you appreciate it.

all i know is that i felt young
and not arrogant.
i'm not sorry if i'm smart and clever any longer
intellect is the opposite of evil
i'm not some director from Warner Brothers
or some fucking actress
warbling false notes for the sake of plastic dimes.

if yer alive
can you do something for me
if you have a spare dollar?

buy a packet of seeds
plant them out front

i told you the truth, the truth aint a lie
A equals A
2 plus 2 equals 2 plus 2
dont let their ugliness get to you
take a breath, take a breath, take a breath
too much coffee makes me shake when i'm awake
for fear
thank you for the bachelor buttons
they weren't lost on me then