The French Connection

I wonder about the languor
of not having a girlfriend in three years
if it has left me wanting human connection
or if all I did
was save the universe over and over again since I was a child
wondering what these observers were, who they were.

I would like to travel to a different planet
maybe it was the dream of a young boy or girl
to have the capability to revisit their past lives
and I wonder now how it was mutated by adulthood,

those shifting machines, the microscopic plate of the human mind
roving in and out through infinities without affinity but for the hinge of a knife blade
wonder who I should leave destitute and for what
not as a game or as "seriousness"
but as an aptitude for genius

I used to be an experimental test pilot
in something called the widow maker
call it an F-16
when those foreign wars had invaded
and left the ones destitute who
had lost their children due to some horrible fucking time travel war
in recompense for eloquence
you and I are both smart
lets leave the writing as a shut book
and begin to take orders from the hollow gnarls of an old cedar elm
where the dusk begins to settle
through the virtues of dark Mankind
and the recipe for success
at this latitude
is the elm
and its furrowed distance
from the fortitude of pirate song
where you notice that you ain't got a comrade or a sting
in the eloquence of a pear
I should have known what my mother was talking about
from the day that I was born
and maybe I did
but the lesson is in the sense
of being a child once in awhile
so that we all get to go home
and I am fine
until I had learned that most of the warfare
was about crack cocaine
and heroin
which I never knew as a child
the war being who would marry Beauty
and there were a lot of decisions
but in the end
let me tell you
I need a drink.